Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Someone Like You

November 2011. 

Having just come off my 3rd and most traumatic miscarriage, I decided to sign up for the 30 day yoga challenge. It's what it sounds like. You are challenged to do yoga for 30 days straight. I thought this would be a good thing to do given how pathetic my body was feeling and also because I was working crazy hours at my job and needed to do something to de-stress so I wouldn't lose my mind. 

I distinctly remember going to a yin class, which is a very low key kind of yoga where you hold a pose for 5 minutes at a time. The instructor had good taste in music and put on the Adele album to play in its entirety for the duration of the class (this was before she was really popular here and I had never heard her music before). Anyway, I was lying on my back holding a pose and Adele's "Someone Like You" came on. It was so deep and beautiful, and it caught me at a vulnerable moment. I remember I started to cry. I was thinking about the miscarriage, about my shitty job, about how everything was just too much for me to handle and I just couldn't see myself getting out of that deep hole. It was too sad and overwhelming. How did I get to this rock bottom when only recently my life was so promising? And to think that the stupid holiday season was coming up and I would have to attend parties and family events and pretend like everything was fine. 

Fast forward to November 2013. 

I am getting my hair cut in anticipation for this holiday season. Adele's "Someone Like You" comes on the stereo in the salon. I flash back to that moment two years ago where I hit my low. Here we are again in November. Getting ready for parties and family gatherings. It's so different this time. Our little girl will be there all dressed up and looking adorable. I will be starting a new and infinitely better job in December. My body feels strong and beautiful. I'm fucking unstoppable. 

What a difference two years can make. 

Let's hope November 2015 will be as happy as this one. 

2 comments:

  1. Wow. I'm so glad you're in a much better place now.
    My holidays this year will be closer to your 2011, but I hope that in a few years things will look different for me, too. Thanks for sharing!

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