Note to self

This blog is *almost* 100% for me. I would be lying if I said when I write on here, I don't keep in mind what potential readers might think/like/dislike. Still, I have a pretty good policy on only writing when I feel like it, and I don't worry too much about posting to keep people constantly entertained.

So I haven't posted in like... I don't know... a LONG TIME. And I honestly feel no guilt about it. Even at this moment, I don't really feel like it... but I know in my mind that I should write down my thoughts today so that I can have a record of them tomorrow. Why tomorrow? Tomorrow is results day. I will be meeting with the OB to discuss the results of genetic testing from the last (third) miscarriage.

I think I should write down my thoughts about it now, while I am unencumbered by various facts and emotions that may skew my perspective and make me think more negatively about it.

There are really two possible outcomes tomorrow.

Possible Outcome #1: the test reveals a genetic abnormality. This will mean that there is no evidence that I am unable to support a pregnancy - just that there was a genetic mistake. Since I've had three miscarriages, there might be an egg quality issue or a compatibility issue between me and hubbs. I suspect that there is an egg quality issue because all three babies were conceived very late in my cycle (around CD50) which can result in deteriorated eggs. They may do additional tests, but the prescription will probably be Clomid to speed up ovulation and possibly progesterone just in case.

Possible Outcome #2: the test reveals no genetic abnormality. This means that there might be something wrong with my ability to support a pregnancy. Since all of my miscarriages have been early on, this may suggest progesterone deficiency. If my previously undetected hypothyroidism was the problem, then I am already taking synthroid for that. They may do other tests, but the prescription will probably be Clomid and progesterone.

Soooooo... I don't know for sure if that's how things will play out, but it seems like the eventual plan will be the same. No reason to panic. Just take it one step at a time.