Wednesday, September 7, 2011


First of all, thanks everyone for your very kind words and well wishes in response to my recent fail. I keep this blog anonymous so there is never any real life interaction, but somehow I know that if we knew each other in real life we'd be besties.

Things have taken a strange twist since Monday. I was bleeding quite a bit of bright red blood, and had resigned myself to my fate. By Monday night, however, the bleeding had completely stopped. Nothing since then. There was never any cramping. My boobs are still as sore as ever. What. The. Eff.

I took the advice of several of you and called my OB about the situation. She said that an ultrasound wouldn't show a heartbeat this early, but I should get some betas to see if they are still doubling. Went for the first one yesterday. At 5w3d the number was 17,586. If I compare it to the one I had done last week before the bloody incident, that is doubling every 46 hours or so, which is right on target. Also, isn't 17,586 abnormally high for just 5w3d?? What the hell is going on?

I'm going for another beta tomorrow to see if it's still rising appropriately. I don't even know what to think anymore. Did I miscarry, but the bleeding is just sporadic? Is it ectopic? Is everything fine and I just had a random bleeding episode due to fluctuating hormones or irritated cervix or something?

Obviously, given my history, I'm loath to believe that everything is ok. I suspect this is not a viable pregnancy, and I am annoyed that this mess is dragging on. At least the two previous times it was like BAM! You're DONE! And I could move on with my life.

To add to the stress of everything that's going on, I got in "trouble" at work for leaving early. Apparently something needed to be done urgently and couriered to a client. A client who was probably already lounging on his yacht at this time not giving a rat's ass about it. This was the Friday before the long weekend. I had been there since 6:30am. I am fucking quitting this place as soon as I find an exit strategy.


    If it was an ectopic, chances are you wouldn't be doubling, and you'd be in pain with numbers this high.
    I think with those beta numbers you may want to insist on an U/S. It may be to early to see a HB but you can at least make sure there's a sac in the right place (from what I know a sac is usually visible once HCG hits over 1000).
    I know us IFers don't usually accept this, but bleeding in the first trimester, with no actual reason, is pretty common.
    I think you should stay optimistic. Things are looking up in my opinion.

  2. AWESOME! Hey, a little hope is better than no hope, right?
    Take it where you can get it. In the mean time, think positive thoughts and know that you've got total strangers out in the real world wishing you well (hopefully in a totally not creepy kinda way! LOL). Fingers crossed for you!