Monday, March 19, 2012

Stuck in neutral

It's March 19th and I'm 19DPO.

I haven't bothered to go for a blood test but the HPT's are getting progressively darker.

During my last pregnancy, I had a brief bleeding episode at 18DPO before going on to have a missed miscarriage and D&C a month later. This time there has been no bleeding, but that could just be thanks to the progesterone suppositories.

Not bleeding is a good sign, but at the same time I don't have any major pregnancy symptoms either. No hint of nausea, no major fatigue... so that's not very comforting.

All in all, I am feeling stuck in neutral. When you've miscarried multiple times, there is a 2 week wait for the BFP, but then there is a 2 month wait for the 12 week "safety" mark. I've never gotten there, but I presume that if I do get there, the 2 month wait will just turn into a continuous wait until that baby is born alive and healthy.

So that's where things stand. The one thing I have to look forward to is an appointment with my OB on Wednesday. I will only be 5 weeks at that point so there won't be much to see on ultrasound, but at least she will refer me for the blood HCG test and probably some other ones.

Can someone please push the fast forward button??


  1. I wish I could!! I'm so sorry it has to be this way.

    Sending you tons of positive thoughts. Are you under the care of an RE or your general OB? I only ask because my RE said he wanted to see me the second there was any hint of a second line (to test progesterone and clotting factors).

  2. I know how hard it is to believe, but you are starting off strong here. Would fast forward, too, if I could to skip this bit. Sorry! Do take some comfort in knowing that this is how perfectly normal pregnancies start, too. These are good things. The traditional symptoms for me didn't kick in until around 6weeks. And even then they were mild in those first few weeks. Hang in there. I swore that I'd skip betas this last time to just get to the heartbeat stage. This limbo part is by far the hardest and you are doing great.