Ten

Ten weeks.

In reading some other blogs lately, I see just how fortunate I am to be here and still have hope that this will work out. I have not enjoyed the last two years of shittiness, but I realize that in the grand scheme of things, it has not been as difficult for me as for many others. In that spirit, I do not wish to take any of it for granted, so I have accomplished a lot of things this week.

1. Finally tracked down some midwives. My preferred midwifery clinic in the neighbourhood was all full for November babies, but I was able to find two other clinics relatively nearby and have appointments at each of them to decide which one I would *hopefully* want to go with. It's nice to have options =) And no offense to my OB, but I see her as more of a surgical, clinical, super-scientific fem-bot. I think for the actual birth, I will need someone with bedside manner.

2. Rented a doppler. I was sure it was going to be expensive to rent it for a few months, plus the shipping costs, but it turns out there is a company in the province that rents them out at an awesome price ($29/month) and the shipping there and back is only $12. So I figured it was worth it financially, though it might not have been worth it if I was not able to find the heartbeat and it just freaked me out. I got it in the mail yesterday and tried it out. It was realllllly hard to find the heartbeat. I had to press into my belly and search around aimlessly for a long time but eventually managed to do it - once in the span of an hour. It was somewhere around 176 bpm, which is great. Then I tried again after dinner but could not find it. I don't understand whether it will always be in sort of the same place or will move around a lot. I found it on the right side of my lower abdomen, but then the next time it wasn't there... Meh, I'm not too concerned. I think I will hold off searching for it again until 11 weeks. Hearing it once yesterday will stave off my insanity for at least a week.

3. Found a prenatal yoga class on Sundays. Magical.

Things I am looking forward to:

1. Getting off the progesterone suppositories. OB said I can just quit cold turkey at 10 weeks but I am a little too paranoid at this point to do that. I think I will continue until 11 weeks and then slowly wean myself off between weeks 11 and 13.

2. Next OB appointment is in 3 weeks. Arghhhh. But my midwife "meet-and-greet" appointments are earlier, so maybe they will be nice and scan me.

3. The end of nausea is nigh. I can feel it lessening a bit over the past few days, but it is still constantly there, just a bit more subtle. This is not a huge problem, but it would be nice to get back to normal.

4. Thinking of putting up a lame ticker, but the fear of jinx prevails. Maybe later.