Sunday, February 5, 2012

It Begins

Here we go! After impatiently waiting for the crimson tide to arrive, we are finally on CD1 and ready to commence the first cycle on Clomid.

I was instructed to take it on days 3-7. I still can't figure out whether that is going to produce more eggs, or better quality eggs, but it probably doesn't make a huge difference. First pill will be on Tuesday and if I have side effects then I will have to bear with them during the work week. Blargh.

On that note, I am actually starting to get concerned about the effect that work is having on my health and fertility. I work long hours and have had no time for exercise or relaxation. On top of that, it is a high stress environment and I have had several days in the past few weeks where I border on panic attack/mental breakdown. This leads to insomnia which in turn makes me even more tired/stressed. It is probably not a good thing for TTC, but what freaks me out the most is the thought of being pregnant under these circumstances.

I think if end up getting knocked up for good this time I will have to be honest and clear with my employers about the fact that I will not be putting myself through any excessive stress. If they can't accept that, then we are going to have to part ways. At this point, that is a very easy decision for me to make because my priorities after 3 miscarriages are very clear.

Feelings at this moment: on the one hand - excitement and hope that this will make me function like a normal woman and I will ovulate in 2 weeks, produce a good quality fresh egg, get pregnant and carry to term. On the other hand - fear that either clomid will not work at all (ack!) or that it will make me ovulate but I will not get pregnant and we'll have to repeat the experiment.

2 comments:

  1. Good luck with this cycle! FX for no side effects!

    Sustaining your pregnancy and a healthy baby should always be your priority. And I would suggest that you do talk to your boss as soon as you are pregnant. You may also want to consider talking to him now about the effects of your work on your health. Although when I was having panic attacks/mental breakdowns and talked to my boss about it, he said he understood and said a lot of nice stuff, but nothing really changed. But it didn't effect me getting pregnant.

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  2. I can tell you from experience that if you must leave a job for your own well-being (and of a baby in your case), it is 100% worth it. If I was still putting myself through hell at my old job I would likely be only the tiniest speck of myself at this point. Taking care of yourself is the most important thing, period.

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