This week's selection:
1. To the senior partner I've been working for the past few days: I can see you've got hair plugs. They look obvious/awful/comical. In your attempt to look younger you have completely embarrassed yourself and lost my respect.
2. To the man in the elevator who started whistling at a baby as if she was a dog while her mother stood there trapped in horror: you should be sterilized.
3. If it rains one more day, I swear to god I'm going to shave my head. This frizz is wearing me down. Also, could the sun kindly return so that people stop poking me with their umbrellas. Seriously, people, did your mother not teach you that the "keep right" rule applies to pedestrians when umbrellas are out?
4. Must. Have. The iPhone 4.