Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Abort/retry/fail?

A lolCat google search is like the Bible - you can find a relevant entry for any situation in life. As with me today:


I couldn't wait a whole week to find out what was going on after yesterday's horrendous OB visit, so I moved up my dating scan to this afternoon. Suspicions confirmed: the baby only measured 5w4d with a lame-ass heartbeat of 85bpm.

I am partly relieved it is so small, as this means I can probably avoid a D&C and go the natural route. The less it grows the less painful it will be coming out. Funsies!

Not sure what happens when they know it's not viable but there is still a heartbeat. Do I have to wait it out? That could take a long time. I am ready to abort and retry... with a potential for more fail.

I am trying to focus on the things I can do now that I've been putting off - like drinking some delicious wine we bought in Oregon two months ago. Getting my hair dyed (maybe). Doing hot yoga and running around to feel glorious endorphins. Boning my husband fearlessly. So much to do, so little time...

Wow, this really sucks. I think I will be ok eventually. I always am.

4 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry. I know what you are going through, and it just sucks. xo.

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  2. I am so sorry and wish I could take away all of the pain . . .hang in there :) Hugs

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  3. Shoot. I just saw this after leaving my comment on the previous post. I'm so so sorry :-(
    Sending you huge hugs. Lots of them. Thinking of you!

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  4. Oh shit hon, I'm so very sorry you're having to go through this again. I do hope you can avoid the D&C and that things happen quickly so you can get to trying again. Good for you for making the best out of it with wine and exertion, you deserve whatever small pleasures can be had to make up for the heartbreak of another failed pregnancy.

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