Not holding it together

Well, this "doing things the natural way" is a bust. Now that I have calmed down from the realization of what a total bust it is, I am ok with having tried it first before moving on to more drastic measure. But it is a major bust nonetheless.

I am on CD 33.
I have consumed about 59873492387643 supplements.
I have subjected myself to 4 accupuncture sessions - they are not my thing.
I have survived a bladder infection, which apparently had spread into my kidneys.
I reached into my vagina 789834754875 times to check CM.
I have super-secretly peed on OPK's in my office restroom.
I still have not ovulated.

In fact, ovulation is nowhere in sight according to OPK's and CM (or lack thereof). I am so. bloody. frustrated.

I had a breakdown at the ND's office today and am never going back, for the following reasons:

- He keeps saying "all of my other patients... bla bla bla". I AM NOT ALL OF YOUR OTHER PATIENTS! I AM ME!
- He is prescribing herbs which I told him I have already tried and which made me anovulatory (this is probably why I haven't ovulated. DUHH).
- Today, he actually said "it'll be fine once you stop thinking about it so much. You'll probably get pregnant when you go on vacation". ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Could you BE any more cliche than that? This is the last straw, you blithering idiot.

I am so done with this bullshit. But I do not regret having tried it. If I had not tried it, I would not be at this point of absolute rage and frustration, and I would not be ready to just swallow the Clomid, which is precisely what I intend to do. Calling the OB first thing tomorrow morning to get me some magic pills. Booya.

Arghh!!!! @#%$(*%$&*@#%@#*^%@#!!!!!!!!!!