Patience is Evaporating

Strangeness.

I was all excited to pee on sticks as soon as possible, but 9 DPO came and went and I wasn't feeling any symptoms (which I had with my two previous pregnancies), so I didn't really feel like testing yet. Then this morning (10 DPO) I basically forced myself to test just for record keeping purposes. I got a BFN, and then an evaporation line about 10 minutes later. I presume it is an evap line, as the instructions say to check within 5 minutes. But of course the evil little evapo is toying with my mind making me think it was just a "delayed positive". It's not.

I'm still not feeling any symptoms other than a few aches here and there, but that's just me getting old. I am already thinking past this cycle and looking forward to seeing the OB in September. The past few days have been a cycle of despair-apathy-impatience-melancholy and so on. I try to keep it in apathy mode as much as possible because, really, there is nothing I can do so why fret.

I had only one bad moment of despair this weekend while hubbs was out go-karting with his Little Brother - yes, that is not his biological brother but a "Little Brother" he volunteers with once a week as a sort of "Father Figure". I don't think I need to explain to you how that makes his infertile wife feel... Whatever, it's a good thing to do, and I guess I'd rather he get some satisfaction from that than have nothing at all.

On the bright side, we are totally balls deep with this kitchen reno and it's going to be so. effing. awesome. It will be the kind of kitchen only two yuppie DINKs can afford. Yes. This kitchen will make everything ok [rocks back and forth while staring blankly].