Monday, January 3, 2011

Top 5 Reasons I Love Ikea

Warning, sarcasm ahead.

My friend needed to go to Ikea for some spare parts yesterday, so hubbs and I decided to come along because we had a gift card from a million years ago that was calling to be used. Here are some random thoughts that came to me while strolling down the Swedish path.

One: I would love to be the Ikea employee who gets to come up with product names. Just a few gems from yesterday's visit: ANSLUTTA, GRONO, BALLSTAD. Don't call me Anslutta, or I'll kick you in the Grono and bust your Ballstads.

Two: Why is every woman in the place 8 months pregnant? Furthermore, why must they announce the spots opening up in the kids play area all day long over the PA. That must mean that all the preggos also have toddlers, which makes them fertile myrtles. Fuckers.

Three: Some say that they make you take a path through the entire store so that you'll be forced to look at all the products until you are eventually tempted to buy something. I say it is so that you come out the other end so hungry that you're willing to stand in line for another 40 minutes to get a 50 cent hot dog.

Four: Ok, I will give them this one thing: the showroom furniture looks sterile even after being touched by 500,000 people. Hmm, I should probably avoid products that are sterile...

Five: I am so exhausted from the Ikea outing that I can't come up with a 5th thing for this list. You win this round, Ikea... but I'll be back! (I will definitely be back, since two of the things I bought turned out to be defective).

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